Listen to a reading of Alex's story 
What happened?
My phone made the distinctive blip of a Snapchat message. It was Jason. Odds are he was harassing me again. I had been responding to him and arguing with him for a few days now, and trying my best to avoid him at school. I hadn’t expected this after coming out as nonbinary to a couple friends at school, but Kendra had let it slip to just about everyone in our grade.
She still didn’t understand why I was upset. “I just didn’t think it was a big deal. I mean, I thought you’d want people to know who you are now. You should be yourself.” She shrugged.
I had wanted to do it on my own time, with people I trusted. But it was too late for that now. I opened the message.
i bet your parents would want to know what’s wrong with their daughter.
I definitely wasn’t ready to tell my parents. I just didn’t know if they would understand and I wasn’t even sure how to explain it to them. Looking at my phone, I felt panic rise in my chest. I wanted to crawl into my bed and just stay there and never have to talk to anyone ever again.
What did they do?
I texted my best friend, Sarah. She’d been out as bisexual since we had been in fifth grade, and she asked the teacher during quiet reading if you can like boys and girls in the same way. She was the first person I told about my new name and pronouns, and she had immediately started using them, after asking me when and where I wanted them to be used. I knew I could trust her.
My phone buzzed and lit up with her texts coming in quick succession.
ok alex
it’s gonna be ok
i’ll call u in like 5?
I sat down on my floor and just focused on my breathing, trying to take each one in fully. My heartbeat had jumped to my ears and I heard it slow and recede to its normal place in my chest.
Sarah called and I told her everything about the situation. She was mad at Jason and Kendra too, and it was nice just to have someone be angry with me. We talked through what I could do about it and decided that he was probably just trying to get a reaction from me. After all, he didn’t know my parents. If he did tell them somehow, Sarah told me, it’d be okay in the end and they would still love me. I knew she was right.
It still bothered me that it wasn’t in my control. But Sarah’s steady voice over the phone reminded me: one thing at a time. She reminded me that I could block him on Snap, and so I did. If he said anything to me in school, maybe I could go to Mrs. Whitt and ask for her help; she was always nice to me, even when I came into class late, and she kept a little sign on her desk that said "Safe Zone" with the rainbow flag behind it. The idea of having to talk to an adult about this was scary, but Sarah couldn’t be around me the whole time at school and I was tired of feeling anxious and unsafe.
Before we said goodbye, Sarah and I made plans to watch a movie at her house tomorrow.
It was my turn to pick what we watched. That was something I could control, something small and good I could hold onto.
Written by Sam Kirschman
Narration by Harriet Saunders
Want to try the skills Alex used?
Breathing exercise for LGBTQ related stress
Guide for blocking on different social media platforms
Want help now? There are free and confidential hotlines available 24/7. Call/text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or contact the Trevor Project, a crisis hotline specifically for LGBTQ youth, by calling 1-866-488-7386 or texting START to 678-678.